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Posted: 09 Aug 2011 06:30 AM PDT  This is not my typical blog. This is not what I usually write about but the last couple of days have taken it out of me. And writing about this just might give it back to me. When certainty is scarce, one must hope. London is burning. The stock market plummets. An elite team is sacrificed. Banks announce more layoffs. Protests continue after a homeless man is beaten to death in an Orange County, CA suburb. The unemployment rate hangs, unmoving for three months, at 9.1%. Troubles line the streets of life and we really have no choice but to keep living, keep surviving, keep driving. It is never easy, especially when it feels like the walls of life and security are crumbling. Movies continue to be made and watched. Music continues to be composed and heard. Books continue to be written and read. Blogs continue to be published and shared. We make this world go ’round. We keep it going around, even when the crazies come out of the dark or stay in the light and threaten our lives or livelihoods or the lives and livelihoods of others. A moment of silence is thoughtful. A minute of prayer is nice. Sending good thoughts and aid is unselfish. Sharing stories, mutual mourning, and shared loss: these bind our hearts but what will get us out of this? What will stop the madness? Continuing on with life, clinging to normalcy, and having a good cry now and again helps and it is necessary. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger,” Friedrich Nietzsche stated in the late 1800′s. Conflict surrounds us, for some, the conflict is internal. Like steel hardened by the flame, its metal proven – we are subjected to flame, friction, and oppression with the opportunity to prove our own mettle. We can want for ease and mercy, but the only thing over which we have control is how we handle it from here on out. We can choose to look at what is happening around us now as opportunity. Opportunity for the world and maybe ourselves to change. Sadness and loss of hope doesn’t change the situations we find ourselves in. Martyrs rarely change the world. It is those whom the martyrs piss off and/or leave behind that do. Progress only occurs when change is needed, and it is evident in the headlines today, that it is time for progress. So, I suppose it comes down to choice. We can choose to survive by seeing what isn’t working and no longer doing that thing or we can deem it unnecessary to survive and continue down a path of destruction. When I worked in the dental field, I used to tell my patients that they only had to take care of the teeth they wished to keep. The same holds true in the world. “The ultimate determinant in the struggle now going on for the world will not be bombs and rockets but a test of wills and ideas-a trial of spiritual resolve: the values we hold, the beliefs we cherish and the ideals to which we are dedicated.” -Ronald Reagan  Rayanne Thorn, @ray_anne is the Marketing Director for the online recruiting software company, Broadbean Technology. She is also a proud mother of four residing in Laguna Beach, California, and a contributor for Blogging4Jobs. Connect with her on LinkedIn.  |
Posted: 09 Aug 2011 04:17 AM PDT  As a mother, I struggle like most with balancing my responsibilities as a mom and business professional. As an entrepreneur, I work to juggle my travel and consulting schedule as well as my husband’s with the demands of being a mother and executing the day to day household tasks.Having my daughter nearly 3 years ago, changed my world for the better, but it also opened up my eyes to the domestic debate between husband and wife. After maternity leave, my husband took the role of stay at home dad for nearly 10 months. The economy collapsed and Greg’s long-term contract ended. He took on several short consulting projects but for nearly a year he served as primary care giver while I balanced writing a book, being a new breastfeeding mother, and serving as the primary bacon bringer-homer for our family. Our household has always been unconventional and non-traditional with my husband most times more than willing to pitch in with household chores. The tension and stress soared those 10 months as I struggled to balance all three. My mom stayed at home with me and my two sisters until I was in high school. My husband’s mom worked part time but the children and household chores were always her primary responsibility. We both had no clear role models to model our behavior after. In the book, The Second Shift which was published in 1989, discussed the rise of women’s entry into the workforce and the household turmoil that ensued. Career woman struggled with their new job and time restrictions, working more paid and unpaid hours working than men. But new data tells a much different story. The role of the traditional father has made a cultural shift. Men, like my husband are scrubbing toilets, folding laundry, and more involved with their children. In fact, men and women now spend nearly equal amounts of time with paid work and their domestic chores. And men like women are struggling with work/life balance. New data says 68% of men have experienced conflicts between their responsibilities as a parent and work. I began to wonder, are men struggling the same way balancing their life and work like their female counter parts are? Are they ridden with guilt when they leave their crying child at daycare for the first time? And most importantly, have they ever woken up late at night wondering if they put the clothes in the dryer? I likely think not, but then again I’m not a guy. And yet, I woke up late last night wondering about the new role of the domestic man as I dragged my sleepy butt up to check the dishwasher. Did I remember to turn that dishwasher on? And are they (men) really pulling their weight? The facts say yes, but I want to know what men and women really think. Photo Credit Bid My Cleaning.  |
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