Thursday, July 14, 2011

Posted: 14 Jul 2011 06:56 AM PDT

I was recently reading the "Habitudes" study guide by Dr. Tim Elmore and a passage really struck me:

The iceberg represents your leadership. The 10% above the water is your skill. The 90% below the water is your character. It's what's below the surface that sinks the ship.

Isn't that so very true? I would even take it one step further and say our "action" or our behavior represents that 10% above the water…it's what people see. And, typically they see what we do, what we say, how we act. The 90% — that "under the water" part is what drives the action, what motivates the behavior.
Because the character part is such a significant part of who we are, it's important that this part be aligned in such a way that it supports "who" we want to be. It's been said that character is who we are when no one is looking, and I think it's an appropriate illustration. "Wrong is wrong" whether someone is there to catch us or not, right? I mean, some people believe the 11th Commandment is "Don't get caught," but I don't subscribe to that concept. And, I don't think it's a good idea to pass that idea on to our kids who, too often, operate under the idea that they can pull things off without the parents or other grownups knowing about it. (Consider "anonymous" cyberbullying or via other means, if you have any doubts about what I mean).
But, back to that iceberg. In SocialSmarts, we teach our students more than just behaviors — we teach them the underlying foundations for positive behavior such as respect, consideration, compassion, empathy, trustworthiness and more. While it's important to teach "skills" for positive interaction and social conduct, it's impossible to teach a student (or adult, for that matter) everything they'll ever need to get along in business and in personal life. But, if you work on developing positive character development — sometimes referred to the "virtues" — you'll find that you are building strong underpinnings that result in positive behavior.
In contrast, just like the iceberg, if the motivators are not aligned with the desired behaviors, you can run aground on the 90% that's not visible. For example, someone can be well-behaved, charming, charismatic, treat you well on the surface. Yet, if he or she is driven by poor character or intentions, you'll be wrecked by the full force of their negative motivations. Consider the scores of people tricked by shysters or con-artists out with the latest Ponzi scheme if you doubt what I'm saying.
I don't want to be duped by someone who behaves perfectly proper on the outside, but is a proper jerk on the inside. I want our kids character and behavior to mesh.
In leadership this is a very critical point to make: you don't want to deal with a fancy facade — you want authentic and genuine. And, that's where your character comes in. A true leader uses more than just the 10% that's visible to others; he or she is as strong in positive character as in action. You don't just expect others to "do as I say," but they believe in leading by positive example and effective modeling. That's what differentiates a true leader from a "wanna be."
So the next time you wonder about the importance of character, think of the iceberg. Remember what part was responsible for the wreck of the Titanic — and don't let poor character sink your best efforts.

For more on leadership, social skills and business, check out the acclaimed book "It's Not Who You Know, It's How You Treat Them: Five SocialSmarts Secrets Today's Business Leaders Need to Stand Out and Be Successful"

The Work Buzz's Latest News: Is your commute ruining your marriage?

Is your commute ruining your marriage?

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 09:58 AM PDT

A long commute comes with an obvious list of downfalls — super-early wake up calls, unexpected traffic jams, the fact that it costs a half-a-day's pay to fill up the gas tank each week — but according to a recent study by a researcher at Umea University in Sweden, there could be another, more unexpected consequence of a long commute: divorce.
The report, which analyzed 10 years of data on more than 2 million couples in Sweden who were either married or cohabitating, found that those in which at least one person had a long commute (more than 30 kilometers, or about 18.6 miles each way) were 40 percent more likely to get divorced than couples with shorter-distance commutes. Chances of separation were highest during the first few years of long-distance commuting, as couples struggled to adapt to the new routine.
Not surprisingly, a big contributor to the higher divorce rate among these couples was the added pressure that a long-distance commute put on life at home. Often, since time spent at home was diminished for one spouse, family and household responsibilities become more burdensome for both spouses, though specific effects differed based on which person did the commuting, as well as the couple's view on gender roles.
According to the report abstract, for example, "The thesis shows that men's long-distance commuting may serve to reproduce and reinforce traditional gender roles on the labor market and within households [since women spend more time at home and therefore complete more of the household duties]. On the other hand, women's long-distance commuting can lead to more equalitarian relationships on the labor market and within households [since more of the household responsibility falls on the man's shoulders]."
However, the study also found that couples in which the woman was the long-distance commuter often experienced more stress — especially in those with traditional views on gender roles — because the woman still felt responsible for a large part of the household and family duties. It also seemed that the overarching tendency was to fall back on more traditional gender roles, as the study found that men were more likely to commute long-distance, while women tended to work closer to home.
Overall, while a long-distance commute was a challenge for many couples, those who were willing to adapt and find creative ways to overcome it were successful. According to the report, "commuters with active, problem-focused strategies can handle commuting challenges efficiently." Successful coping strategies included viewing commuting time as personal time, and using it to listen to music, read (if using public transportation), or mentally shift between work life and home life; as well as setting and sticking to family calendars and schedules to create a more predictable home environment.
What do you think about the correlation between commuting and marriage? Do you think it’s valid? Share your thoughts, below.

Should You Connect to Your Boss on Professional Networking Sites?

The Monster Blog

Should You Connect to Your Boss on Professional Networking Sites?

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 02:09 PM PDT

In recent weeks, there has been a lot of buzz about BeKnown, Monster's new Facebook app that allows you to establish a professional network on Facebook. This new network -- which lets you connect to career-related contacts, without leaving Facebook and without showing those contacts all your more-social Facebook activity, pictures, and so on -- is adding new users rapidly, and there have been a lot of very positive reactions from career experts. (For a how-to, check out "How to Use BeKnown," by About.com's Alison Doyle.)
But amid all the excitement, a note of alarm has sounded. Some bloggers have asked, "But if you're friends with your boss on Facebook, he or she will see that you've joined BeKnown -- what about that?"
Well, what about it? In response to a MediaJobsDaily blog post on this topic, I asked what would be so bad about that:
"If you're already friends with your boss and other colleagues on Facebook, letting them know that you've joined a professional network (one that'll help you develop your career and connect with other people in your field) will benefit you. It shows you take your career seriously. Considering the other things many people put on their Facebook walls, it sort of seems like the last thing a person should be worried about."
And all joking aside, I would add that if you're already friends with your boss on Facebook, you should think about asking him or her to join you on BeKnown after you've joined. BeKnown is a great place to connect with new customers, clients, industry influencers, and new employees. A good boss will thank you.
Trouble? What Trouble?
There is, it seems to me, a misperception that a lot of people are going to "get in trouble" if it becomes known that they're involved in a professional network -- that suddenly their employers will discover that they're looking for a job.
Well, that may be a concern for some people, but it seems unlikely to me.
According to a recent Monster.com poll, 98% of workers said they would at least consider a new job opportunity. Trust me: Employers know this. They know that the line between "actively looking for work and "not actively looking for work" has disappeared. So I maintain that if you have a sane boss (I understand that not everyone does!), adding him or her to your professional network is a good idea.
Everyone Is "Looking for Work," and Employers Know It
At Monster.com, we talk to a lot of employers -- because knowing how companies feel about their employees is our job. Bosses, recruiters, HR people, and hiring managers are all concerned about retaining their great employees; these people-managers know that there's no such thing as "actively looking for a job" anymore. Almost all of their workers are hire-able. Even if a great employee doesn't have a resume on Monster.com or a profile on BeKnown (for example), he or she will have friends, former colleagues, and many other ways to find out about job opportunities.
The conversation about "letting your boss know you're looking for a job" needs to include this fact: Bosses (and HR folks, and so on) are, in most cases, human beings. They are people who are managing their careers, just like we are. They live in the same world we do. They have the same concerns about career maintenance that we do. And they connect to networks the same way we do.
In this connected world, a lot of our activities could be called "looking for a job" -- joining a professional network (online or in the real world), posting a resume online, maintaining a blog, meeting a former colleague for coffee, participating in volunteer work, and so on. BeKnown simply lets you manage and display, with ease, all these components of your professional life.
If you don't think your boss gets this, you do have problems -- but your employer has even bigger problems.
(Read more about BeKnown's approach to networking in "How BeKnown Fits into the New World of Work," by Monster global product manager Tom Chevalier.)
What about you? Are you using BeKnown yet? Have you connected with your boss on BeKnown or on other professional networks? Do you fear retaliation if you are active on BeKnown or a similar network? Share your story in the Comments section.

Interview Tip: You Gotta Ask! | Career Rocketeer

Interview Tip: You Gotta Ask!

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 03:30 AM PDT

So many job seekers leave an interview and have no idea if it went well, if they are still in the process, if they were considered a fit for the position, how long it will take the employer to make a decision, whether there are more interviews in the process, or if they will get a call back.
The following days, or weeks can be extremely frustrating as they wait to find out.
Yet, most are unwilling to do the one thing that can alleviate that frustration right from the start… ASK!
Asking direct questions about your suitability for the job, their interest, and their process serves several purposes…

It shows the employer you have a sincere interest in the position and in moving forward
It shows professional assertiveness and thoroughness by seeking a full understanding of the status
It sets you apart from the majority of candidates who don’t ask
It often causes the employer to make somewhat of a commitment
It gives you insights to help you evaluate how well things went, or not
It helps you set your own expectations about where you stand and what may, or may not, happen next

Let’s discuss those last two points in greater detail…
As a recruiter, when I send one of my candidates to an interview with one of my client companies, I have the opportunity to debrief with each of them afterward. I often say that sometimes the stories match up, and sometimes I wonder if they actually met the right person! At times, a candidates perception of how things went is wildly different than the employers perception. Clearly, feedback didn’t happen in the interview.
As a candidate, it’s much better to know if there is continued interest… or not, before you leave so that you’re not left wondering indefinitely. If the answers you get are discouraging, at least you know right away rather than fretting for days or weeks and then finding out the bad news. If the feedback is good, then you know you can have reason for hope. Furthermore, if you ask whether they see you continuing in the process, and they say ‘yes’, then it’s more difficult for them to backpedal on that minor commitment later.
So… what, and how should you ask? Here are some ideas…
As an interview nears the end, it’s very appropriate, and good to say something like:
“I’m very interested in this position and believe I can be very productive for you in this role. If it’s OK, I’d like to ask a few questions about what’s next…”
“Can you give me an idea of the interview and decision making process? What would be the next step and what kind of timeframe do you have in mind?”
“How many other candidates do you have at this stage?”
“Based on our discussion today, do you see me moving forward to the next step in the process?”
“If I don’t hear anything, when would be an appropriate time for me to follow up with you?”
Be sure to listen to the answers carefully! These kinds of questions, and others, can certainly give you a good idea of their level of interest and set reasonable expectations as to when things will continue to move forward.
Obviously, it’s possible they won’t give you answers to some or any of these questions. Nothing works every time. However, you can be pretty certain you won’t get answers to those questions if you don’t ask. Even if they don’t give you answers though, you will have made it clear that you are interested, and willing to ask the questions that most candidates are not willing to ask.
If you want to know where things stand, to make a positive impression, and to know what to expect…
Ya’ gotta ask!

Author:
Harry Urschel has over 20 years experience as a technology recruiter in Minnesota. He currently operates as e-Executives, writes a blog for Job Seekers called The Wise Job Search, and can be found on Twitter as @eExecutives.

Overcoming Time Management Obstacles

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 11:00 PM PDT

I'm facing a few time management obstacles and, as I've started to recognize them, I've realized others may be dealing with the same issues.

To get this useful advice and many other helpful career resources, visit us now at CAREEREALISM.com.

20 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Accepting a New Job

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 10:30 PM PDT

You got a job offer. Hurray! But, take a few minutes to ask yourself the following twenty questions before you say "yes" to that job offer.

To get this useful advice and many other helpful career resources, visit us now at CAREEREALISM.com.

10 Things Recruiters Won’t Tell You (But I Will!)

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 10:00 PM PDT

I've put together the most common reasons why a recruiter writes a candidate off. You may not like what you read, but they all can be improved upon.

To get this useful advice and many other helpful career resources, visit us now at CAREEREALISM.com.

Is Your Resume Summary Boring Employers?

Posted: 13 Jul 2011 09:30 PM PDT

Have you struggled with putting your brand into your resume, writing a profile summary that looks great, but failing to get attention?

To get this useful advice and many other helpful career resources, visit us now at CAREEREALISM.com.